What do you think about yourself? Who influenced your mind set? Can you teach an old dog a new trick? These were questions that arose in my conscious as I came to a crossroad in my life. I began to question my views of the world and how they affect my life. Freedom is a “state-of-mind” but are you truly free if you allow the thoughts and actions of others to affect your emotions? Why is attitude so important? Inquisitive, right? So, where are the answers? During a quick shopping experience while visiting a friend, I came across a book entitled “You Are What You Think” by David Stoop, PhD. I bought it because I viewed it as a lesson for my spiritual journey. The book highlights a concept called Self-Talk and its affect on attitude, thoughts, emotions and actions.
Self-Talk? Talk to myself? Now I gotta be crazy to evolve to a higher self? Not really. Self-Talk is something everyone subconsciously engages in. Each time you have a thought…in summary, it is Self-Talk. Attitude and behavior reflect thoughts. The author used biblical references, exercises and simple tests in this self-help book to assist in understanding Self-Talk and changing thought patterns to overcome obstacles and barriers people encounter as a part everyday life. Yes even that co-worker, boss or family member you can’t stand! The deterrence of fears which keep you from pursuing your wildest dream and passion! All of these started with thought!
Has anyone ever made you so angry you wanted to give them a “piece of your mind” and MAKE them do exactly what you want them to do? Lemme know how that worked out…most likely you were more angry and disappointed than before the situation was addressed. The demands you placed on the other people is most likely a perception of a selfish type of Self-Talk and/or set of beliefs. Can you discern and place yourself in your “opponent” shoes? Are you not more resistant to demand than to a suggestion or gesture of advice? I can only conclude that you should probably, fall back…
One of the sections in the book touches on the difference between passiveness, aggression and assertiveness.
Passive people probably say, “I don’t do drama” or “I am too mature and classy to address this or that” but due to the suppression of their true emotion, eventually SNAP! (PASSIVE AGGRESSION)
Others who “don’t give a ____” (use your imagination) probably think they’re assertive, yet their loud, unfiltered mouth is actually aggressive. Heaven forbid they become physically violent…watch out there now!
People who embody assertiveness, approach issues with love and understanding in a way that doesn’t suppress any emotion, yet respects the other party involved. Assertive people understand which aspect of a situation they can control (mainly their own responsiveness) and use loving tactics to draw out their feelings.
This part of the book was my most favorite because I struggled with passive aggressiveness for quite some time. I utilized this book as a tool to assist in positively controlling my thoughts and emotions and though it’s not the only answer or key to life…it’s a great start. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!
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