In the past I’ve discussed many aspects of being a friend and making sure that they are beneficial. Of course we want to make sure that we are around people who care about us and helping us grow. It’s easy to have the outward perspective and speak on how our friends treat us. However, how would the people we associate with rate us as a friend?
Lately my mind has been focused on my abilities as a friend, and a few questions keep running through my mind. What can I do to be a better friend? Am I expecting things from them that I’m not providing in return? Are the expectations I have for the people around me unrealistic?
It’s really been on my heart lately to look at myself from the perspective of my friends and evaluate my role as a friend. In our mind we probably believe that we are a great friend, but what are we basing that on? Sometimes we will look at our capabilities as a friend off of what we preserve not what is true.
How to Be a Good Friend
I started praying for Jesus to show me how He defines friendship. I want Him to show me in how to maintain a positive relationship with those He’s placed in my life. While speaking with Him about this He showed me a few areas we should focus on in order to be a good friend.
Point them to Christ- A beautiful characteristic of a friend is someone who’s interested in your spiritual growth. A good friend points you to Jesus. They invite their friends to church, encouraging them in the word, and planting seeds that feed their spirit. Having a friendship that glorifies Christ creates a solid foundation.
Invest in Their Growth- Showing a friend support and being supportive goes a long way. I remember talking to one of my friends about an article I wrote that was stressing me out. Even though she had things going on in her life she stopped everything to help me finish it. We must be invested in our friend’s future.
Pray For Them- There is so much power in prayer, if we would only tap into it more. When we pray for our friends we are lifting them up to Christ and that’s a beautiful thing. One great question to ask your friends is what can you be in prayer with them on. Not only will this help you to know what to pray, but it helps you get into alignment with their petitions.
Show Compassion- In order to be a good friend we have to be there through the good and bad times; the key is to exhibit love. In 1 Samuel 18 the bible share a beautiful example of friendship through David and Jonathan. King Saul wanted to kill David out of jealousy, so David was running for his life. Despite the fact that Jonathan’s father hated David, he stood by his friend and showed him compassion.
Make an Effort- Maintaining a friendship takes effort, and we have to be willing to spend our time maintaining it. We all have things to do, list that are always growing, and our own concerns. However, it takes nothing to send someone a call or a text and see how they’re doing.
While the list of things we could do to be a good friend could go on and on, it’s important that our goal should be to grow in our role as a friend. We have to be mindful to not grow stagnant in our relationships with others or assume that the approach friendship is the only way. A friendship has to be able to evolve in order to maintain the bond that can withstand our changing lives.
My prayer is that my circle will know that I value their friendship not merely by my words or gifts but by my actions. I don’t want them to question if I care, but know that I do.