Guys aren’t perfect. I think I just felt one of you roll your eyes and two or three others just laughed out loud and said, “That’s an understatement!” It’s obvious, I know, but we make a lot of stupid mistakes in relationships. That’s not news to you, but hear me out for a second.
I haven’t had a ton of serious dating relationships in my life. There have really only been four from the time I was 18 until now (33). I learned something in each one of them.
From my first girlfriend, I learned how to treat a woman. While I grew up with both my parents in the house, I didn’t learn much in the way of being a gentleman. My dad is an excellent father, but that wasn’t a focus of his to teach me. So I learned it from my first girlfriend in the most pride-busting ways possible. We’d walk to my car and she would wait outside until I opened the door for her. She’d stand outside a building until I opened the door for her. She’d stand by the table at a restaurant until I pulled her chair out for her. At the time it was slightly embarrassing. But in the end I learned something that would benefit every other woman in my life, dating relationships as well as friends and family.
From my second girlfriend, I learned to listen. My method of having an argument was to just wait until she got through speaking so I could make my point. I didn’t listen to how she felt to try to understand her viewpoint; I waited. By the end of that relationship, I learned that it’s much more effective to listen and trade thoughts than it is to yell and scream.
From my third girlfriend, I learned that I fall in love too fast. And love will cause you (me) to ignore things that are deal breakers if you (I) become blinded by it.
Those takeaways have contributed to who I am to my current girlfriend. I’m sure she appreciates the things I’ve learned from past relationships, but I understand the learning isn’t done. That’s mostly because, for men, women are… well… un-figure-out-able (yep, I made up a word). You all don’t make any sense to us. At all. It’s like trying to solve a rubix cube while being paralyzed from the neck down and blind, or something. We don’t always get you.
So if you’re dating a man and at times he seems incomplete, it’s because he is. Be patient with him. If he’s paying attention at all, he’s trying to learn you so that he can become better for you. And if he’s not, then you shouldn’t think twice about cutting your losses. We’re not always going to get you, but if you’re dating someone who isn’t trying, then it’s time to move on to the next one.