Many have days like this, where they are barely hanging onto hope, promises and faith. By a string they don’t lose their cool and with strength they keep going through the day. This, my friends, is true positivism.
Sad to say, the upcoming generation (and maybe the one before) has a twisted perception of positivity. It is mistakenly depicted as a person who always smiles; who never shows weakness, and who never sheds a tear. It’s as if to be positive, one must be a robot that never allows the world to see the truth behind the highs and lows of life. But does it have to be so? Does being positive equate to wearing a mask and to take part in a charade?
I don’t think so.
I’m proud to say that I have quite a few positive people in my life…but it is not what you think. Yes, they’re energy is irresistible and they are so empowering; however, it’s how they are transparent and vulnerable that is attractive. It’s how they keep going in spite of their sensitive humanity. That is what makes them queens and kings, princes and princesses.
What do I mean?
I have witnessed people who have every reason to throw a pity party and quit, cry, dust themselves off and get back up with a defined purpose to continue their journey or start again. It has been with major things like not getting the job they wanted, heartbreak, divorce, business failure, unexpected financial changes, and the list goes on. Frankly it’s frightening and also so empowering. It wasn’t that they were always smiling and jumping up and down with excitement over every little thing. As a matter of fact, they were realist, staring harsh facts right in the face. However, what set them apart was their hope – their faith that their current situation was only temporary and bound to change. That right there, that’s what made them positive. They had courage.
They understood the importance of focusing on what would be. Yes, they vented. Who doesn’t? Yet they didn’t complain – they didn’t dwell on the problem. They acknowledged the obstacle they were facing but like water, they moved around it. They knew that bad days always lead to good ones, and that a mess always led to a breakthrough. It wasn’t necessarily in their face but rather a glint of light in their eyes and a confidence in their mindset. They knew things were going to change, even if it wasn’t that day.
And so I want to challenge you.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are human and things will get you down.
- Allow yourself to feel the entirety of the emotion, whether it is pain or hurt or shame. Yes, it’s not good to dwell in these things but how will you ever reach higher if you’re not knocked down? The truth is, you have to heal and surpassing the negatives is not going to accomplish anything.
- Get up. Decide this is not how the story is going to end. Go about your day determined. Take small steps. Give tiny rewards to yourself. Seize the day, one step at a time with your flaws and all.
- Have hope. Maybe you don’t know what to expect or you may still feel wounded. Remember that trouble will not last always. “The struggle you’re in today is the strength you’ll develop tomorrow.”
- Never give up. Let go and let God. Cry if you must. Scream if you have to. Vent, journal, whatever it takes. Hang in there. “If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.”
Above all, don’t limit your journey to this urban myth of positivism. You don’t need to prove to everyone you’re ok by hiding behind a smile. Be raw, be real and always be yourself.
Tamara Holder, Baydian Girl