The reason I wanted to cover confidence this month is because I know what it’s like to struggle with it. For many years I didn’t like or believe in myself and so I had to search for my identity. I feel that I’m pretty confident now, but it took time and self-discovery to get where I am. This doesn’t mean I don’t question myself at times.
Over time I’ve learned to determine where my lack of confidence was coming from so I can know if it’s internal or external. One thing that I noticed is that when I know where it’s coming from I can address it and fight back. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nothing can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This reminds me that people, their opinions, and even myself can’t get to me unless I let them.
What I’ve identified as confidence stealers:
- People- The people that we associate with every day, from our friends and family to our coworker, can be steal our confidence. When we seek validation for our choices from others, our confidence will always be in the balance.
- Jealousy- Social media is everywhere and we constantly see post about how other people are living. So it’s natural that we would start to question or become envious of not having the life we feel we should.
- Past Mistakes- Holding onto or constantly reminding ourselves of the past can be a constant internal battle. This can give us uneasiness about trying again or doing something new because we think we’ll experience the same result. By letting them define us we never get to see our true selves.
- Knowledge of Self- When we don’t know who we are and what our purpose is we lack confidence in our existence. If we don’t take the time to get to know ourselves then we constantly struggle to define who we are. We will rely on other people to help us and seek our identity in them.
- Unseen Beauty– If we don’t see how beautiful it is to be ourselves then we will face many insecurities. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our features, shape, or size. We are all beautiful and need to see that there’s not just one definition of beauty.