The question then becomes if no one person is exempt from these issues then who is at fault? Who or what is the blame for the broken heart?
Until a while ago I used to blame the other person in the relationship for the issues within the relationship. It took me a while to realize that I too was at fault and had not been totally blameless. Before I go any deeper with this story let me begin by saying: (1) I have only been in three real relationships (2) I allowed the relationships to begin and end in the manner in which they were done (3) I broke my own heart
Now that I have given you the ground information let me tell you the story.
I was involved in two serious relationships the first was destined to be horrible and you know what, God told me. God sent me sign after sign to let that young man go and back away from him. I didn’t pay attention and if it were not for mercy I would have paid dearly for my disobedience. The second relationship was entirely flesh consuming. I improved him spiritually and he helped me damage me physically. It wasn’t until the second relationship that I realized the power that Love can have on a person, and the effect that love has over all other emotions.
I had never fallen in love and today I’m thankful that I didn’t fall as deep as I could have fallen. Long story short that relationship ended, and do you know I had the nerve to blame God. I actually asked God why did he allow this to happen again. Yes! I had lost all my marbles! The ending of that relationship took so much out of me. I cried for an entire week, but that’s not the best part. I received the news of the relationships end via text message!
After my state of temporary marble loss, I picked myself up and decided to pray. It was during prayer that I realized, I had given my heart away twice to two none deserving boys. I had also blamed God, who had sent signs and said NO! both times. Then came the biggest revelation, I had broken my own heart by allowing these boys to take up residence in my life and giving them room in my heart.
If you thought I cried when the relationships were over, I cried more when I had realized the extent of hurt I had bestowed upon myself. Admitting that my broken heart resulted from me was no easy job, I decided after my revelation that I would no longer date, until I was ready to be married or mature enough to grasp what authentic Christian relationships were about.
I swore off dating for two almost three years. Today I am open to dating but I currently am not in a relationship. I also can tell other and have accepted the fact that I broke my own heart and I blamed God for it. I no longer blame God and today have high standards for any man who comes into my life. (1) He must know Jesus as both Lord and Savior (2) He must have an active prayer life (3) He must know who he is and his purpose for being here on Earth.
Until next time, keep your head high!
Kaylah Johnson| twitter: @a_perfect_doll| http://justkaylah.wordpress.com