At what age should a person be experienced in sex, love, and relationships? Is there a set age in which a person should have fallen in love, given away their virginity, and suffered a great heartbreak? At what age are you too old to be inexperienced?
In many cases be it through unspoken rights of passages between friends, and extensive girl talk between ladies, “too told to be inexperienced” is an all too real thing.
I decided to test this theory. While talking to my two best-friends I unfolded my entire sexual story intentionally leaving out no details. Once I had finished telling my best friend, “B” in person that I in fact was technically a virgin and I had never actually fallen in love, I could see the deep-set concern and questions surrounding her.
If it was a case of me being daring or just plain transparent that made me tell her, I yet to know today. What I do know is that all jokes were aside and my “Good-Girl Christian” card was fully visible. The first question that came from my friend was how? Then why? She intently awaited my response.
As awkward as it was to tell her that I in fact hadn’t intended on being a virgin this long, that it “sex” just never happened for me. Don’t miss understand me there have been very tempting moments, and circumstances that were honestly deliverances from God, but for some reason I had escaped all of those situations.
As my best friend and I wrapped up our conversation and later retold it to our friend “L” he was just as dumbfounded. Citing only, “Really! I can’t believe that.” This however came as a surprise to me; similar responses from two Christian friends….which lead me to do my own research.
I found out that many people, Christians included still find the loss of virginity as a right of passage. Those who are wonderfully aware of saving themselves might be excluded from this group, however they are not exempt from being a non-member of the “too old to be inexperienced group.” In essence no matter how many bible scriptures you quote and no matter how spirit filled you are, your flesh will crave the touch of flesh. I’m not expert when it comes to love and relationships but I have grown to be proud of the fact that no guy can actually claim to have “went all the way with me” and that at 23 I still hold a valuable gift.
As I stated earlier there is most certainly a rights of passage to non-virgins, and almost secret club. This club however is filled with the questions of ladies and men that often question did they give it up to the right person, or should they have given it up at all. From my research I discovered that No matter who you are the pressure is on and no matter what religious background you may come from you’ll eventually crave the flesh or another, and want to experience love and all of its ups and downs.
The older I get I become aware of the fact that I am NOT too old to be inexperienced. I am old enough to make life decisions that I can now live with the consequences of and that I can now handle a relationship that is requiring of my fully, it is my decision however to remain inexperienced and wait till marriage.
Before you ask…. Do I believe in getting some before the wedding to insure that your partner isn’t a terrible lover, I’m all for previews!
Until next time, keep your head high!